Curiouser and Curiouser

“Curiouser and curiouser!” cried Alice as she tumbled down the rabbit hole. In coaching, much like Alice’s adventures, curiosity is the key to exploring the unknown. It’s what enables us to truly understand our coachees, moving beyond assumptions and stepping into their world with openness and wonder.

Without curiosity, we risk falling into common traps: judging our coachees, projecting our own experiences onto their situations, or steering conversations toward conclusions we’ve already made. True curiosity shifts the focus entirely to the coachee, opening doors to profound exploration and growth.

Why Curiosity Matters

Curiosity in coaching isn’t about asking clever questions for the sake of it. It’s about creating a space where coachees feel genuinely seen and heard. When you approach a session with an open mind, your coachee feels safe to explore their thoughts, share their struggles, and question their own assumptions.

This openness allows them to venture into areas they may have avoided before—unearthing beliefs, patterns, and possibilities that could transform how they view their situation. As a coach, curiosity also keeps you present and engaged, focused entirely on their journey instead of getting caught up in your own interpretations.

Curiosity Over Judgement

Judgement is often the enemy of progress. It’s easy to fall into the trap of labelling or criticising when a coachee shares something you don’t agree with or understand. But judgement shuts down conversations, while curiosity invites exploration.

Instead of reacting or assuming, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself, “What makes this important to them?” or “What are they trying to express here?” By staying curious, you allow the coachee to feel heard, even if their perspective is different from your own.

Avoiding Projection

Projection is another common pitfall in coaching. It’s the act of overlaying your own beliefs or experiences onto your coachee’s situation—consciously or unconsciously. This might sound like, “If I were you, I’d...” or steering the conversation in a way that reflects what you think is best.

Curiosity helps to counter this. Instead of assuming you know the answer, take a step back and ask your coachee to share more about their thinking. Questions like, “What’s drawing you to this?” or “What feels most important to you right now?” shift the focus back to their unique perspective, helping them uncover solutions that resonate deeply with their values and priorities.

The Challenge of Staying Open

It’s not always easy to remain curious—especially when your coachee shares something unexpected or challenges your own way of thinking. In these moments, it’s tempting to fall back on what you know or guide the conversation toward familiar ground.

But staying open to the unknown is where the magic happens. When a coachee surprises you, lean into it. Ask them to tell you more, and explore what’s beneath their words. These moments often lead to the most profound insights, for both you and your coachee.

The Journey of Cultivating Curiosity

Becoming a curious coach takes practice and intention. It’s about approaching every session with a beginner’s mind, setting aside what you think you know, and being genuinely interested in your coachee’s world.

True curiosity also means listening—not just to their words, but to their tone, emotions, and what’s left unsaid. It’s about being present enough to notice when your own biases or assumptions creep in, and choosing to set them aside in favour of exploration.

The Power of Curiosity

Curiosity is the golden thread that transforms coaching conversations from routine problem-solving into meaningful journeys of discovery. It helps coachees feel understood and empowered, while enabling you to guide them toward insights they might never have reached on their own.

So, the next time you feel tempted to offer a solution or steer the conversation, pause. Channel your inner Alice and ask, “What might we discover if we explore this further?” You’ll be surprised at how much richer the coaching experience becomes—for both you and your coachee.