This One Is Just Right

Once upon a time, Goldilocks wasn’t just wandering through the forest—she was testing her senses to find that “just right” feeling. Much like her journey with porridge, chairs, and beds, coaching uses sensory tweaks to help us get our inner experience just where it needs to be. So let’s take a leaf out of Goldilocks’s book and see how exploring these details, or “submodalities,” can make all the difference.

The Search for “Just Right”

Goldilocks didn’t settle for anything less than perfect: porridge too hot or too cold, chairs too hard or too soft. In coaching, we explore these same sensory nuances, examining how we mentally “taste” or “feel” our thoughts and experiences. By adjusting these subtle elements, we help coachees move from something that feels “not quite right” to something “just right.” These small sensory changes can have a big impact on how we experience our challenges, emotions, and even ourselves.

Finding the Perfect Bowl of Porridge: Adjusting the Visuals

Imagine you’re grappling with a challenge, and in your mind’s eye, it’s a big, daunting image—like a boiling hot bowl of porridge. Just as Goldilocks found the right temperature by testing each bowl, you can adjust the size, colour, and brightness of that mental picture. Maybe a smaller, cooler image makes it more manageable, or softening the intensity gives you the calm you need to tackle it. The goal? Finding that “just right” visual that lets you handle the issue without being overwhelmed.

The Comfort Zone: Settling Into the Right Sound and Feel

Once Goldilocks found her porridge, she moved on to the chairs. Some creaked and groaned, too loud to feel stable. In coaching, that creaky “sound” is often the internal dialogue—a loud, harsh inner critic that makes everything feel unsteady. Adjusting the tone and volume of that inner voice can shift your mindset from “too much” to “just enough.” Imagine turning that critical voice down to a calm murmur or replacing it with a reassuring tone. Suddenly, what was once overwhelming becomes balanced and comfortable, just like Goldilocks’s favourite chair.

The Cozy Bed: Finding Ease with Physical Sensations

At last, Goldilocks reached the beds. One was too hard, one too soft, but she finally found one that was “just right” for a nap. Our physical sensations often mirror this experience when we’re struggling. Anxiety might feel like a tightness in the chest, while procrastination can feel like a weight on the shoulders. By adjusting these sensations, we can lighten the load. Imagine replacing that “weight” with a sensation of lightness or spreading the warmth to areas that feel tense. With the “just right” sensation, we feel empowered to face whatever’s in front of us.

The Goldilocks Effect: Just Right for Every Coachee

Every coachee, like Goldilocks, has a unique version of “just right.” One person’s ideal might be another’s too intense or too dull. But by exploring the sensory qualities of their experiences—turning down harsh sounds, shifting dark images, or lightening sensations—we help them find their balance. It’s all about discovering that “just right” feeling for them, one small adjustment at a time.

So next time you’re feeling off-kilter, think of Goldilocks. Maybe all you need is a little sensory tweaking to turn things around. With the right adjustments, even the trickiest situations can feel “just right.” And in coaching, this subtle work is where resourcefulness can be tapped into, helping us find the inner comfort and confidence to go after our goals.